Carolers
by LunaPadma
Summary: Threequel of sorts to Christmas Carols and Caroling. Leo and his friend Reyna sit and enjoy the usual Camp Half-Blood New Years Extravaganza. Leo/Echo.


The last campfire of the year began with an explosion.

This was unfortunately common at Camp Half-Blood, so most campers barely glanced over.

The Roman ambassadors, though, about fell over. They were less used to random explosions than the Greeks.

When the smoke cleared, there was a sleigh where the Apollo kids usually stood. As one, the Apollo kids appeared from inside the sleigh, wearing antlers. Will Solace, the counselor of Cabin 8, was dressed as Santa.

They began to sing "Sleigh Ride", but Pollux of the Dionysus cabin was making his usual sarcastic comments a lot louder than normal.

_Just hear those sword fights crashing,  
Clash trash flashling too  
Come on, it's a lovely battle  
For a Greek on a saddle 'gainst you  
Outside the blood is flowing  
And friends are dying on me,  
Come on, it's a lovely battle  
For a praetor on a saddle 'gainst you.  
Giddy yap, giddy yap, giddy yap,  
Let's go, Let's count up the dead  
We're riding in a funeral parlor.  
Giddy yap, giddy yap, giddy yap,  
It's grand, cutting off your hand,  
We're fighting along with a giant  
With a grudge so big and true_

Our cheeks are nice and bloody  
And sweating buckets are we  
We're pressed up together  
Like two birds with a hate would be  
Let's take that road of friendship  
Before we annihilate you  
Come on, it's a lovely battle  
For a centaur with a saddle against you.

Reyna leaned over to Leo and whispered, "Was that about the battle? Our battle?"

"I guess," Leo whispered back. "I don't know, though, I was kind of busy destroying Gaia."

"Shut up," she said. "They've started again."

The Apollo cabin was valiantly trying to keep attention focused toward the front, which was made rather difficult since the entirety of the Aphrodite had just stood up wearing skintight red shirts and black leather pants. Oh, and Santa hats. They all began to sing what _might_ have been "Santa Baby", but could have easily been "We Wish You a Merry Christmas" for all the attention paid to the words.

_Lupa baby, slip a toga under the tree, for me  
I've been an awful good girl_/_boy_ (depending on the gender of the singer)  
_Lupa baby, so hurry to the cabin tonight_

_Hermes baby, a bitchin chariot for me too, light blue  
I'll wait up for you dear  
Hermes baby, so hurry to the cabin tonight_

_Think of all the fun I've missed  
Think of all the boys/girls that I haven't kissed  
Next year I could be just as good  
If you'd check off my Christmas list_

_Percy baby, I want Andromeda and that's  
Not a lot  
I've been an angel all year  
Percy baby, so hurry to the cabin tonight_

_Valdez honey, there's one thing I really do need, the key  
To the bu-unker 9  
Valdez honey, so hurry to the cabin tonight_

_Zeusie baby, I'm filling my stocking with a duplex, and checks  
Sign your 'X' on the line  
Zeusie baby, so hurry to the cabin tonight_

_Come and trim my Christmas tree  
With some decorations bought at Versace  
I really do believe in you  
Let's see if you believe in me_

_Aphrodite, forgot to mention one little thing, a ring  
I don't mean an IM  
Aphrodite, so hurry to the cabin tonight_

_Hurry to the cabin tonight  
Hurry to the cabin tonight_

"Is this a normal occurrence?" Reyna asked.

"What?" Leo responded, still distracted by the sight of Drew (and Piper, and Lacy, and Katrina, and…) in leather pants.

"The songs. They aren't normal Christmas Carols."

"Oh, that," he said, turning around. "Yeah, camp tradition. Ooh, Jason's turn!"

Jason stood and sang (surprisingly in tune):

_Last August, I tried to kill you  
And the very next day, you slumbered away  
This year, because you're a bitch  
I refuse to go on the quest_

_Once sleeping and twice flied  
I try to get away but you're still here  
Tell me Gaia  
Do you recognize me  
Well, it's been four months, it doesn't surprise me  
Happy New Year, I wrapped you up and stabbed you  
With a message saying 'I hate you', I meant it  
Now I know what a genius I've been  
But if you kill me now, I know you'd probably be killed_

_Last August, I tried to kill you  
And the very next day, you slumbered away  
This year, because you're a bitch  
I refuse to go on the quest_

_Last August, I tried to kill you  
And the very next day, you slumbered away  
This year, because you're a bitch  
I refuse to go on the quest_

_A crowded field and friends with sharp swords  
I'm hiding from you and your hideous face  
My God, I thought you were someone to stand upon  
Me? I guess I was only, only, only a pawn  
A menace to a friend with a fire in his heart  
A girl (and I love her) but you tore her apart  
But this year  
But this year I'll kill you right and proper_

_Cause last August, I tried to kill you  
And the very next day, you slumbered away  
This year, because you're a bitch  
I refuse to go on the quest_

"Good voice," Leo commented. "Bad lyrics."

"Let's hear you do better," Reyna challenged.

Leo stood up with the rest of the Hephaestus cabin. They launched into a stirring rendition of "Oh, Come All Ye Faithful". Or, rather, "Oh, Come All Ye Half-Bloods".

_O Come All Ye Half-Bloods_

_Terrified we may be,_

_O come ye, O come ye to Camp Half-Blood._

_Come, 'fore we're eaten,_

_They are freaking monsters;_

_O come, let us run in,_

_O come, let us run in,_

_O come, let us run in,_

_Christ! Oh, Lord!_

_O Shiz, they have found us,_

_Run like Furies chase you,_

_Oh, wait, they freaking are! Run, freak, run!_

_If we pass the pine tree, we are safe;_

_O come, let us run in,_

_O come, let us run in,_

_O come, let us run in,_

_Christ! Oh, Lord!_

_All arms! Lord, we almost bit it,_

_Thank God they were fat and slow,_

_O Jesus! I thought you were empousai._

_Honest mistake, now, _

_let's just blame PTSD;_

_O come, let us run in,_

_Christ! Oh, Lord!_

Leo sat down, smirking. "So there," he said.

Reyna rolled her eyes. "Whatever."

Travis and Connor Stoll began to do somewhat of a duet with the Ares cabin:

_I really can't stab – Well, it's time to learn  
I don't have the time - Well, it's time to learn  
This summer has been - Been hoping that you'd learn to fight  
So very sharp - I'll hold your hand, you pathetic wimp  
My mother will start to worry – Come on, what's your hurry  
I'm sure she'll be pacing the floor - Listen to the hellhounds roar  
So really I'd better scurry – You'll die for this hurry  
Well maybe just a half a term more - Put some armor on while I train_

_The neighbors might think – There's monsters out there  
Is that spear electric?! - No wimps to be had in here  
I wish I knew how – You think monsters are this slow?  
To break the spear - I'll take your sword, your performance sucked  
I ought to say no, no, no, no - Mind if I STAB YOU NOW?  
At least I'm gonna say that I tried – Do you call this trying?  
I really can't stay – Leave and I'll kill you  
Oh my Gods, Clarisse scares me!_

"Rhythm was off," Reyna remarked.

"Yeah, well, Ares isn't exactly stellar on that front."

The rest of the Hermes Cabin began singing a version of "We Wish You a Merry Christmas", but it seemed awfully violent from where Reyna and Leo sat.

_We hate that you steal the solos; _

_We hate that you steal the solos; _

_We hate that you steal the solos so we stole all your clothes. _

_Good like trying to find them in the snow; _

_We forgot where we hid them and we will not share. _

_We can parody just as well; _

_And our rhythm doesn't suck as bad; _

_So give us some solos or we'll force you to streak._

_We won't go until you share them; _

_We won't go until you share them; _

_We won't go until you share them, so le-et us in_

_We hate that you steal the solos; _

_We hate that you steal the solos; _

_We hate that you steal the solos, so we stole all your clothes._

Katie Gardner, of the Demeter cabin started crying, she was laughing so hard. Travis and Connor were less than pleased.

The Iris cabin launched into their own version of "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer", which Leo was pretty sure was a classic.

_Clovis, the Hypnos child_

_Had a very ugly face (like Medusa)_

_And if you ever saw it_

_You would try and flee to space (or Pigfarts!)_

_All of the other campers_

_Used to laugh and call him names (like Kronos!)_

_They never let poor Clovis_

_Join in any half-blood games (Like sparring!)_

_Then one bloody August night_

_Chiron came to say (ho, ho, ho)_

_Clovis with your sleeping powers_

_Won't you keep us awake tonight_

_Then all the half-bloods liked him_

_As they shouted out with glee (yippee!)_

_Clovis, the Hypnos child_

_You'll go down in history! (Like Percy Jackson!)_

"Was Kronos that ugly?" Reyna asked.

"Beats me, I was living in the sewers at the time."

The Demeter cabin stood all at once and drowned out the Apollo kids, who were still ineffectually trying to lead "Jingle Bells", which was probably another classic.

_Gaia's felled, Romans smell, Percy sowed his seed_

_Now they're hitched, Reyna's a bitch, and we feel for poor Reid!_

_Dashing through the woods_

_Cuz I sense murder brewing_

_This song is inoffensive_

_Because it's just a joke, hey!_

Then all of the Demeter kids scattered. It was sort of taboo to mention the Spawn of Percy and Annabeth, or SOPA. Everyone was kind of hoping someone would get Piper knocked up so they could have a PIPA (Piper is Pregnant. Awk.), too.

Sensing trouble brewing, the Athena kids stood and began singing almost immediately after.

_Joy to the World, Gaia's asleep_

_We should just celebrate!_

_Let's not kill the Demeters_

_Because it's a huge mess_

_To hide their bodies well,_

_To hide their bodies well,_

_To hide, to hide their bodies well._

They sat down quickly. It was apparent to all that it was just a distraction for the Demeter kids to flee.

After a slightly awkward silence, the Hecate cabin stood and began singing what Leo _thought_ was "Santa Claus is Coming to Town". He didn't even know that one came with words.

_You better watch out_

_You better train hard_

_You better fight well, I'm telling you why_

_The Roman Camp is coming to town!_

_They're making a list_

_Of our defense_

_Gonna find out who can't fight and why_

_The Romans are coming to camp!_

_They spy when we are sleeping_

_They creep when we're awake_

_They know if you use sword or spear_

_So use both, for Hecate's sake!_

They all raised their hands and created a picture of an eagle choking on a caduceus in the fire.

"Do they hate us?" Reyna asked.

Leo shook his head. "No, but it's the only thing going on."

Then it was the Hypnos kids' turn.

It was quite possibly the most impressive carol the world had ever seen. As one, the entire Hypnos cabin snored "Carol of the Bells". Nobody could figure out if it was on purpose.

"I got you a Christmas present," Reyna said, just as Will Solace, still dressed like Santa, yelled, "Sixty!"

"Really?" Leo asked. "What?"

Reyna pointed, and Echo appeared from the trees. Leo ran to her side so fast, for a second he thought he was riding Arion.

"You're here! You—you left Narcissus!" Leo said.

"Left Narcissus," Echo confirmed.

"TEN!" the camp yelled. "NINE! EIGHT! SEVEN!" Leo could see some couples moving around, trying to get next to their partner for the ball dropping.

"How? Why?" Leo asked. "Did you—"

"TWO! ONE! ZERO!" the campers cheered.

Then she kissed him.

And Leo knew, that was the answer to his question. She'd come for _him_.

It was the best Christmas gift ever.


End file.
